found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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