we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That accounts for only three of the penises
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
