He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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