she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
