don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
nutella sex= disaster
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
