ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
