Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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