I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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