You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
