He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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