Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We just shotgunned beers for America
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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