omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize