sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
