I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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