Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
