I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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