My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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