he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
