I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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