I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
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Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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