I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize