Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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