hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize