he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
