u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
