My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
