Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
