we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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