I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
