"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
