On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
