yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
