So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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