in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
