plz talk dirty to me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.