One girl and one boy is just not enough.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
