Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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