Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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