She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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