Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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