I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
