Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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