So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
