Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
