Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
