My first STD was from a foam party
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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