I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
