what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
