Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
