We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
