I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize