He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
