If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
