you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
