I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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