Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
