You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wish there were birth control emojis
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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