why didn't you poke me back
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
